Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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