Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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