Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
