I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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