Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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