my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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