lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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