I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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