So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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