i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
