Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
honey bunches of taint.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
