Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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