Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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