Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You may now shotgun with the bride
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
