Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i dont even know how to be here
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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