So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize