Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
