how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
