The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
