It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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