I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Two words: blizzard sex
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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