Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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