watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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