We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
