the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize