I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
