There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
