The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
