And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
