Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
