So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
