I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's blow job season.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
