he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
