I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
