you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
