Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
