i jhust puked up my retainher.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
