There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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