No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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