I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
