spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
