Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
