covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
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