its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
