I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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