you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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