So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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