Plan B is the new Plan A
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
