just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
