Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize