Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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