So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
