And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
