so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
