Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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