Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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