i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
