Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
