So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it glows. i had to have it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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