i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As shirtless as possible
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize