Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
