My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
