My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
